


Cry For You (Remix)

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Arashi - Freeform, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But when Nino begs like this he knows there is no way he could resist him. Even though he never answers, even though he always makes it a point to turn Nino down by keeping his mouth shut, there is no way he could ignore this – ignore Nino entirely in favor of stalking out and keeping his sanity intact if he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cry For You (Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stripedraccoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stripedraccoon/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Cry for you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/949054) by [stripedraccoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stripedraccoon/pseuds/stripedraccoon). 



> as promised, OMG! This is the fic remix of stripedracoon’s CRY FOR YOU but this is completely told through Ohno’s eyes. I think she already wrote the 3rd part of that fic so please keep in mind that this is simply a remix of that fic and that this doesn’t have anything to do with how her plot/and or how her fic progresses. This is my version and she kindly allowed me to write and post it, regardless of how screwed my version is /snickers. Thank you so much, dear

“Fuck me,” Nino gasps, and his voice sounded desperate – miserable – he could tell that he is, despite the fact that they are both so drunk he doesn’t really know how he could tell that Nino is miserable just by hearing his voice. But he could, and it has been one of the many things between them that are just so, something that he probably could never explain even if he wants to.

Nino whimpers his request against his ear, wet and demanding, his fingers insistent on their grip against his arms. He doesn’t answer Nino’s plea, because if he does he might say something he knows he would regret later, and he has done a lot of regretful things in the past to add one more to the ever growing list if he’s not careful.

But when Nino begs like this he knows there is no way he could resist him. Even though he never answers, even though he always makes it a point to turn Nino down by keeping his mouth shut, there is no way he could ignore this – ignore Nino entirely in favor of stalking out and keeping his sanity intact if he could.

“Fuck me… Just –“ Nino moans and he is so hard that it is impossible to try and lie to Nino that he doesn’t want to, that he’s too drunk to even tell the difference, to know that he is holding on to Nino’s hips and not his girlfriend’s own. Rather, he keeps the same expression on his face, the one Nino is used to seeing when he’s too horny and is just about to shove Nino down into a kneeling position so he could fuck Nino’s mouth instead. He couldn’t because Nino is still begging him, still tugging insistently at the collar of his shirt and he thinks he is going to prematurely come in his pants if he doesn’t do what he had been asked, too many times this night.

But he still doesn’t answer Nino’s pleas though within seconds he has managed to unbutton Nino’s pants, and has tugged it down together with his underwear in one swift motion. Nino gasps when he goes back up and starts sucking at Nino’s neck, mumbles Nino’s name drunkenly against Nino’s cheek as he lets his hands wander around Nino’s body.

He knows he must be hurting Nino with the way he is touching him, roughly, almost possessively but he doesn’t have time to care about that now. He wants Nino so badly, like the memory of all those times Nino willingly went down on his knees to suck him is coming back in a rush and leaving him no time to think of anything else but the urge to fuck Nino hard it makes his whole body shake with desire. But then he does something stupid by raising his head, and sees the way Nino is looking at him like wants more from him, wants more from this than Nino knows he cannot give him and it makes his heart hurt knowing that he is the one hurting Nino over and over.

Of course he knows, _of course_ , he is not blind and he is not stupid; he knows the meaning behind those intense stares Nino used to throw his way, knows the way Nino feels about him even though Nino never say it. It is bad enough that he has allowed this -- that he’s been allowing this ever since and yet he knows he couldn’t give Nino more than what he could give him now because he’s a certified coward.

He is afraid he’d fuck things up more than he already has, because he knows that he would -- once he let Nino see how fucking weak he is when it comes to Nino. He has let Nino think he doesn’t care, that all those times he allowed himself to be pleasured by Nino’s expert mouth, he did so just for the heck of it, that none of it meant anything to him.

But they do mean something – they actually meant a lot of things and that’s where this all fell apart. He wants Nino so much it hurts, that all those times Nino willingly parts his mouth and lets him shove his cock inside it, he couldn’t help but love him even more, love him quietly on his own. It really is a wonder why Nino thinks he doesn’t, because he didn’t think he’s ever met anyone who gets hard as quickly as he does when he’s with Nino, and when Nino is within his reach, most especially when Nino is so close like this and begging.

But he doesn’t want Nino to love him the way he knows Nino does, and instead he wants Nino to hate him for being someone who takes advantage of him but he knows Nino’s not going to. He hates himself enough whenever he has to decline Nino’s kisses in favor of saying lame things such as he doesn’t want to taste himself on Nino’s lips because in all honesty, he wants to; he hates himself enough when Nino looks at him pitifully after he’s come inside Nino’s mouth that he wishes Nino punches him hard on the face to get back at him for always hurting Nino instead.

Nino mewls when his hands found Nino’s bony hips, ducks down to bite at the soft juncture between Nino’s neck and shoulder hard enough to make Nino cry out. He is hurting Nino deliberately because he wants Nino to refuse him, he wants Nino to turn him down at least once but knows that Nino’s never going to. He could taste Nino’s sweat mingled with the sweet scent of smoke and alcohol against his tongue and he wraps his arms tightly around Nino’s middle, feels the way Nino’s skinny frame trembles against his hold.

Nino’s fingers start fiddling against the top buttons of his shirt and he quickly maneuvers his otherwise busy hands to pin Nino to the wall and presses his body against Nino to stop him from further undressing him.

“Don’t,” he mutters against Nino’s neck, and he knows he sounded like the jerk he _always_ is and feels more like the jerk he knows _he_ is when that one word has rendered Nino quiet. He almost wants to take it back, to cup Nino’s chin and tell him how sorry he is for always ending up breaking Nino’s heart but chooses to bite his tongue instead as he picks Nino up from the floor and lifts him, undoes his own pants and takes his hard, throbbing cock out.

Nino is almost completely naked now, save from his shirt which is hiked up to his armpits and though there is still a few layers of unwanted fabric between them, he can still feel the heat emitting through Nino’s skin. He growls impatiently, still mostly drunk to make sense when he shifts and the head of his cock bumps against the smooth skin of Nino’s ass, spreading pre-cum across Nino’s bare skin and feeling Nino shiver against him.

“Fuck me, Satoshi,” Nino mewls, and it is a plea as much as it is a command, arms wrapping around his neck as he licks his lips wet, looking down at him hungrily.

He swallows hard because he knows there is no turning back now.

“Open your mouth,” he grits through his teeth and Nino doesn’t even hesitates as he does so, quickly bending forward as if he is about to be kissed. He clenches his jaw and curses under his breath, mentally kicks himself on the head because he knows that it is one more thing he could never give Nino.

Nino is obviously waiting for the kiss that is never going to come.

He lifts his right hand instead and shoves two fingers inside Nino’s parted mouth, barely making sense at the disappointment that passes through Nino’s dark, brown eyes before it is gone and Nino has resigned to sucking on the fingers inside his mouth instead, slicking them wet with his own saliva knowing where the fingers are going afterwards. Nino never, not even once, looks away through the entire process and he feels even more turned on that he could feel his own pounding heart against his and Nino’s chests, quickly pulling his fingers away and immediately shoving them inside Nino’s ass without preamble.

Nino winces but tries his hardest not to let the pain show on his face even though it is obviously there. Nino curls against him, leans down to bury his face against his shoulder as he does the same, his face half-buried against Nino’s chest and begins sucking on Nino’s hot skin as his fingers are working deliberately inside Nino’s ass, opening him further for the oncoming assault.

Nino is clinging onto his still clothed shoulders for dear life, whimpering as he continues loosening Nino up. For a few moments, he allows himself the luxury to feel the weight of Nino’s body, the feel of Nino’s legs twined around his waist as he sucks on Nino’s neck. Nino stops squirming though his pulse still throbs heavily beneath his mouth, and he thinks he’s going to lose his mind any moment now if he tries to prolong this.

“Enough?” he asks Nino, and again, Nino doesn’t hesitate and simply nods. He withdraws his fingers all at once and uses both hands to steady Nino, backs him firmly against the wall for leverage before he quickly pushes in.

Nino screams.

He knows it is painful to begin with, and that his fingers aren’t enough preparation to his blunt, throbbing cock now halfway inside Nino’s ass but there is no way to lessen the pain. He knows this, and he knows that Nino is aware of the oncoming pain but he maybe didn’t expect it to be like this. He wants to touch Nino’s face, he wants to tell him it’ll be fine, that it’s him but he knows it won’t change anything – not the pain, nor the fact that it is him who is doing this to Nino.

He is hurting Nino again and he doesn’t even know how stop it.

The only thing he can do though is to let Nino get used to it before he loses control of himself again.

“Relax,” he tells Nino, calmly as he can manage, and softly as his voice will allow him. Nino nods and shifts to straighten himself, and the motion itself is enough to send jets of desire shooting down his spine when his cock slips another tiny inch inside Nino’s ass. He is trembling but so is Nino, and the heat between them is driving him insane every goddamn minute. “I.. c-can’t.. h-hold back… f-for long,” he manages to stutter as he keeps himself still, letting Nino get used to the burning pressure for a little bit longer.

Nino nods into submission, nods and nods again against his shoulder, his skin sweaty against his grip. Their heartbeats are pounding almost in tandem now and he closes his eyes for a few seconds to savor the moment.

And then he hears Nino whimpers, and the sound is so much different from the sounds he usually makes when Nino is on his knees and his cock in Nino’s mouth, and then he feels something warm falls from Nino’s face to his neck.

Tears. Nino is crying and this time, he doesn’t dare hide it from him.

He bites his lips and re-arranges his grip underneath Nino’s legs and rams back in, chastising himself for being a bastard, for hurting Nino time and time again; he is doing this to chastise Nino as well, for always allowing him to hurt him when Nino could have put a stop into this long time ago. Nino screams for the second time because it probably hurts more than it should but he couldn’t stop now, could he?

It doesn’t matter because Nino is still clinging to him, still crying as he thrusts his hips hard enough that the wall Nino is currently backed against rattles with the movement. He feels elated, he feels high with sensation everytime his cock slips in deeper into Nino’s body with each powerful thrust.

After a while, the tone of Nino’s screams changes from painful to borderline pleasure, and he keeps going at it, fucking Nino as hard as he grips Nino’s thighs tight. Nino is still crying, his tears falling despite the sounds of moans wrenching from the back of Nino’s throat and he barely feels Nino’s left hand creeps in between them as Nino begins touching himself.

Nino is so hot and still so tight, and he moans harshly when Nino’s fingers finally squeezes around himself and he has shifted a little to the right to change the angle of his thrusts. Two, three thrusts on that same vulnerable spot and Nino outright wails, and he feels the tell-tale warmth of Nino’s come spilling in between Nino’s hand and his stomach as he continues fucking Nino earnestly.

“Satoshi. Satoshi. Satoshi.” Nino mewls over and over, riding out his orgasm as he fucks him through it until he is the one nearing the edge of completion himself. Nino clenches around him, Nino’s legs and his inner muscles clamping around him at the same time, and it is game over.

He comes inside Nino’s ass, hot spurts of desire shooting inside Nino’s body as he holds Nino tight against him, grumbling something incoherent under his breath against Nino’s neck. Nino doesn’t move, just lets him hold on to Nino and the wall behind Nino, as the world slowly crumbles beneath his feet and his barely-there strength left him entirely as he steps back and lets Nino’s hips go.

He watches dazedly as Nino’s knees begin to shake, before Nino completely falls down on his ass and Nino winces, but he is too tired, too sated to even lift a finger, to help Nino up on his feet because he can barely keep himself upright. He wants to open his mouth and tell Nino how much this changes everything – how different this is from the usual affair but at the same time, he couldn’t.

He is breathing hard by the time he opens his eyes and watches as Nino tries futilely to kneel on shaky legs, raises his head and looks up to him. The same desire is still written so clearly across Nino’s face, coupled with so many unnamed emotions he still doesn’t have the strength to name himself as Nino crawls and crosses the distance between them until he is once again kneeling down, looking up to his cock still hanging lewdly out his pants.

His cock is soft and it has traces of his own come and a little bit of Nino’s blood over and around it but Nino doesn’t seem to care. His cock is dirty and Nino is looking at it – at him – as if he is quietly asking him if it is alright to take care of it for him; he doesn’t know why Nino treats it as his job to clean it thoroughly without being asked, really.

“Let me clean that for you,” Nino says, soft and sweet, hiding his desperation by quickly parting his lips and taking the cock in front of his face back into his mouth. He doesn’t move, doesn’t dare do anything as he watches Nino’s mouth work around him, closes his eyes and waits for the familiar painful clutch in his chest go away.

But it doesn’t, because the both of them are so stupid he doesn’t even know how they manages to still remain friends even though they keep hurting each other. And they are – he is – hurting Nino deliberately and even though he knows how much of an asshole people thinks of him as because of what he has been doing to Nino, no one is aware -- not even Nino himself -- how much of this is killing him too.

It is because he keeps everything hidden beneath the surface, doesn’t let his emotion slip through even though he came close to revealing everything to Nino countless of times. He couldn’t because if he says anything then he knows something is going to go wrong, and that is what he’s always been scared of.

He realizes Nino is done when he feels his cock getting tucked in back into his pants and Nino gets up on shaky legs, takes his hand and leads him straight to his bedroom. He’s been here a lot of times to know exactly where they’re heading but he lets Nino lead him wordlessly there anyway. They reach the bed and Nino whispers, makes him lie down there before Nino crawls next to him, tugging the blankets to cover them both up.

There’s an almost arm-length distance between them but even through that he can feel the heat of Nino’s naked body next to him. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t dare reach over to trace the bumps on Nino’s spine with his fingertips no matter how much he wants to because he knows it will only complicate things further, not that it hasn’t already.

He blinks sleepily at Nino’s dark ceiling, wondering how they have come to this point from that one, drunken mistake of so many years ago. He thinks of the many times he’s left Nino for someone else, of the many unspoken truths Nino bravely communicates by touch and by letting him do whatever dirty thing he’s been doing to Nino and wishes for everything to just stop already.

He couldn’t give Nino the love he deserves because he knows it will not be enough, that he takes each opportunity he has been given through the years to take whatever Nino wholeheartedly gave him without thinking of the many consequences it will entail in the long run.

He couldn’t, even though he knows that one day, everything will end and Nino will be gone, that the next time he turns to his left, Nino is no longer there.

Better keep everything to himself than to suffer the painful consequences of saying something only to ruin everything they have worked their asses for.

“Thanks,” he mumbles at last, and he wants to say _for loving me, for giving me this chance to love you back in my own stupid, twisted ways, for letting me hurt you when the only thing I should be doing is take care of you, for being there when I need you -- for being you,_ but instead he says, “for the fuck,” and closes his eyes and pretends he’s gone to sleep, keeps pretending he couldn’t feel the way the bed shakes beneath them because Nino’s body is trembling at the effort of keeping his sobs to himself.

Then Nino turns around abruptly, bridging the gap between them in one quick movement and wraps himself against him, hugs him tightly and holds on, holds on; then Nino buries his face against the crook of his neck, presses his body close to his and cries without reservation, letting his emotions out.

“I love you. I love you. I love _you.”_ Nino confesses, his voice is raw from crying, the pain resurfacing and Nino doesn’t do anything to stop it, doesn’t even hesitate to say the words he knows he could never say himself. He keeps his eyes closed, wills himself not to shake or do anything to calm Nino though it takes all of his reserved strength not to grab Nino and hold him too, tell him he loves him too, so much, so much, and that he’s sorry.

Nino is holding on to him, sobbing words into his neck before he feels Nino pulls just the tiniest bit away, just far enough to earn his second heartbreak of the night. “Satoshi, I – I –“ and stops.

Nino must have realized he has not heard him because he is already asleep. Only, he isn’t; and he’s probably never going to get that sleep tonight no matter how hard he tries to.

Nino goes back to crying and he goes back to pretending this doesn’t hurt him.

Even though it really does, but.


End file.
